When you’re dealing with a boss who has been through a divorce, you might think of his “crush” culture as a constant battle against his ego, but the reality is that this is just the opposite.
His love for his wife is so intense that even the slightest of slip ups can get him into a serious state of meltdown.
If he starts crying at the mention of her name, it’s not because he feels like he has to say something, it is because he is literally in tears.
He will lash out at anyone who says or does something that could hurt his feelings, and it can become a toxic environment.
The best way to break this cycle is to be open about what you think your boss does or doesn’t do.
“When you say, ‘I don’t do it this way, I don’t like this,’ you’re making yourself sound like you’re really, really tough.
When you say ‘I’m not a bitch about it, I’m a nice person,’ you don’t say it out loud, but you say it in a very measured way,” said Sharon Crouch, a clinical psychologist and author of “Why We Hate Our Bosses: How to Break Their Crush Culture.”
It can be hard to break free of this pattern when you’re stuck in it, but once you do, the best thing you can do is be open and honest about what’s going on.
You’ll be surprised at how much you can learn from a boss about himself, she said.
“A lot of people say, I’ll try to talk to my boss about this.
I think they’re going to think that’s going to be the end of it,” she said, “but they might get more out of it by getting in touch with their personal stories.”
If you’re still having trouble breaking the cycle, try talking to a therapist.
They can help you learn more about your boss’s thoughts and feelings, which will help you better understand what you’re doing to hurt him.
“If you talk to a manager about their thoughts and behaviors, it can be the first step to breaking out of your own cycle,” Crouch said.
The good news is that there are so many ways to break the cycle that it can take awhile.
But you’ll find the following tips helpful in your quest to get out of the funk.
Find out what your boss likes and dislikes.
Your boss probably likes what you like, but he might also like what you dislike, which can be difficult to break.
This can be a problem when it comes to your career or personal relationships.
“It can be easier to break out of this situation if you talk about what makes you feel bad or what you want to change in your life, which could include being honest with your boss about your own feelings and what you need to do to fix them,” said Crouch.
“You can then find ways to make yourself feel better and make them feel better about the situation.”
Break the cycle of blaming.
It’s hard to be honest about your issues if you’re afraid of hurting your boss, but it’s even harder to get your feelings out when you don.
“Your job is to tell your boss you want him to do something or to change something,” said David Pappas, a business development manager at Tempt.
“And that’s the hardest part of this.
If you tell the boss that, ‘Oh, I really can’t do that because my emotions are running wild, and I’m upset and I need to fix this, and you’re not doing anything about it,’ then it’s very difficult for him to believe you.”
If your boss has a drinking problem, for example, you’ll want to know what it is and how you can help him get sober.
There are a number of resources for alcohol abuse treatment available, including The Recovery Network, which offers confidential services for people experiencing problems with alcohol.
You can also find support groups for people dealing with substance abuse, like AA.
“These resources have been incredibly helpful for me as I’ve gotten better,” said Pappamas.
“One of the things that I’ve learned is that it’s really hard to go through a tough time in the workplace and still have your job,” he said.
“[The job] isn’t for everyone, but I’ve found that the people who are really struggling are the ones who have really had a really hard time coming to terms with what’s happening in their lives.”
You can find support from the National Alliance on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse, which also offers a free phone helpline.
Stop listening to what your bosses say.
The only way to get things done in this environment is to listen to your boss.
When a boss tells you that you’re a pain in the ass, you can easily tell that this person doesn’t want you to succeed, so you needn’t listen to him